fraudulent home decorating

Today I’ve spent all morning on the phone with my bank’s fraud prevention team because apparently, when they ask for your address details at the checkout in any online transaction, that is actually a security measure rather than something annoying that you have to input because they hate you and are judging you for what you’re trying to do with your own money.

Lesson learnt, I suppose. This is the second time in a short amount of time that I’ve had my card blocked because they just aren’t sure if I’m being serious or not, so maybe I should have a look at what I’m spending my money on. I just moved into a new flat, so I’ve been buying heaps of home decoration stuff! I’ll post some pics once I get all my stuff off the floor, but I think the jewel in my crown is the light up star cushions I got that should be arriving any day now! As far as I know I’ll be staying in this flat for the next year or so, so I definitely want it to be a home rather than just a place where I’m staying.

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belated birthday celebrations

Tuesday was my birthday (and also my birthday twin Anna Wintour’s, so happy belated birthday to her as well), but because the Captain and I were both so busy we decided to celebrate today instead. Something that we’ve both been wanting to do is go to Bounce, which is an indoor trampoline park, and this seemed like a perfect opportunity to go.

I haven’t been trampolining since I was about fourteen and managed to trigger a dormant bout of food poisoning by jumping on a trampoline in a friend’s backyard, so I wasn’t sure how good I was going to be at it. It was super fun though! We got an instructor to show us some (very basic!) tricks and we immediately decided that we’re going back next week as well. We got super sweaty and gross as well, so it’s obviously a pretty good workout. This form of cardio is way more fun than jogging, just saying. I really hope there’s something like this in London as well!

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After that we went back to Smith and Daughters because we knew we’d be able to get a kickass birthday dinner there, and they didn’t disappoint. I even got a pin of their awesome neon “eat vegan” upside down cross! All in all this birthday gets 10/10, would definitely do it all again.

taxi driver vendetta

I am so angry right now! Yesterday, I went out for a bit, and I caught a taxi home, and my driver essentially stole money from me. I know, right!? He asked me to prepay for my journey, which was pretty weird considering going from the CBD to St Kilda isn’t that far, but whatever. I gave him what I thought was a $20 note, but he showed me a fiver and told me that’s what I’d given him. Being the kind, trusting soul I am, I believed him, and I even paid him an additional $10 upon arrival to “make up the difference” – and when I then couldn’t find my $20 I realised he had made me pay pretty much double what I should have!

Part of me feels like if he needs $15 that badly he can have it, and I hope he feels really pathetic for it, but a larger part of me wants revenge – I am a pretty vengeful person in general, but I am doing my best to channel it into more appropriate channels. I also feel that because he already had decoy money prepared, this is probably something that he does a lot to people going home late at night, and if people don’t complain about him he will just keep getting away with it. So if you want to be generous you could say that I am saving other people from having a similar experience! I only got an answer phone when I called the company, but I am prepared to call them up every single day until I get an answer about what they are doing about it. There is no end to my well of resentment, and I have all the time in the world to make him regret ever meeting me.

back end of summer

Summer is here! you have no idea how hilarious it is to me as a European to be writing that in October. I’m loving it, though; I know a lot of people like autumn because it’s cozy and you get to wear more layers, but I hate it. I would like to be warm without wearing layers. When all my friends back home post updates about how it’s getting colder and darker, all while I am walking along on the beach, wishing I had an umbrella to shield myself from the sun, something within me grows three sizes. I don’t think it’s my heart, because a heart shouldn’t grow from something that just slightly relies on schadenfreude, but it’s something all right.

I chose to celebrate the return of summer by doing two things I haven’t done in a long time; one of them was to get back in the hoop and get some practice time in, which I haven’t done for over a year. The other was to get there by bike, which I haven’t done in probably more than five years. It was a lot of fun and I could feel my thighs growing three sizes as well! But apparently a bike seat is pretty unforgiving so now my bum hurts a lot. I’m gonna say it was worth it, though; I’ve wanted to get a bike since I got here because I feel like it’s a waste of my time to have to get the tram every time I want to go into the city.  Now that it’s warm enough, and once my bum recovers, I will get the bike instead and no longer be a slave to PTV.

I celebrated with a glittery selfie – as I posted on Instagram, I think I looked especially gay today. I think it’s the snapback. I’m in a very extravagant mood when it comes to makeup lately. I seem to go through two cycles; perfectly applied neutral makeup, or “my five year old chose these colours”. They’re both nice, but clearly five year olds just have way more fun!

Pride 2015

This Saturday was Gay Christmas, or, as people like to refer to it, London Pride! I went with one of my friends to see the parade, and it was obviously everything I’d been waiting for all year.

It was kind of a short day for me; we had tried to find out where the official after party for women would be, but it turned out there was no such thing this year because the venue had fallen through. Not amazing! But we hung out on the streets of soho, instead, and there’s worse things to do!

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In honour of the American Supreme Court decision the day before to allow marriage equality in all of America (which I did not see coming at all!), I wore my American flag shorts. I’d kind of forgotten how revealing they were, though; turns out booty shorts are a perfectly acceptable outfit in Australia, but feel a lot more confronting in London!

I didn’t stay out for that long, because Soho was just way too crowded for me, and the only thing we really ended up doing was drinking. I was still very pleased with this opportunity to to soak up all the gayness London has to offer!

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So much gay in the air.

Blacklist

I love lists of all kinds. To do lists, lists of things you like, you name it. Anything, as long as it’s in list format! And I love these type of fill in the blank lists – I wish that those books you had as a kid where you got all your friends to fill in all their information was still a thing. I’d make heaps more friends just so I could fill in more of them! Luckily, I have a blog, so I don’t need friends.

What are you wearing?

My super awesome Captain America Hoodie that my dad gave me for Christmas! I don’t really wear hoodies out of the house but I love this one and it’s so cozy that I’ve been wearing it every single second that I’m at home since I got it.

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Unfortunately my dad’s camera is a bit of a potato, but I think its beauty shines through.

How are you feeling?
I’m good! I’ve got plans for all weekend, I’m just getting ready for work and I’m feeling pretty chill.

What are you wishing for right now?
I’m wishing that all my plans for the next six months fall into place properly, and that I can manage to hit my savings goal first of all.

What have you eaten today?
Two bowls of cereal and a Red Bull. Breakfast of champions!

What are you doing tomorrow?
My friends are having a house party so I’m going over to theirs. 

And tonight?
Working!

Who are you missing?
No one really. Maybe my mum, but I know I won’t see her until April anyway so that’s more abstract and not really at the forefront of my mind.

Last thing you bought?
I bought a phone cover with two pink, sparkly Mickey Mouse heads on it!

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Last thing you laughed at?
Probably something stupid that I saw online, I can’t actually remember.

Last thing you cried at?
When watching Catching Fire last night, the scene where Mags walks into the poisonous fog just completely broke me and I had to pause the film and sob for a few minutes. Old women in movies always remind me of my grandmothers and how much I miss them both.

Last person you fell asleep with?
My flatmate’s dog.

What are you reading right now?
Nothing! I have several books I want to read – I got the Casual Vacancy for Christmas (side note: they should probably forcibly remove my dark mark tattoo for being such a bad fan, having not read this book before), and I also have the Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime waiting for me, but I can’t decide which one to go with first.

Last film you watched?
Catching Fire. I went to see Mockingjay with a friend last weekend, and I felt a bit silly that I hadn’t watched the previous two. I’ve read the books, but that was at least two years ago, so I decided to watch the first two for a refresher. They’re pretty intense!

What’s your most frequently used swear word?
Probably the c word or the f word. I swear a lot! I’d like to think I can gauge what is or isn’t an appropriate time for it, though.

Who was the last person to call you?
The Captain! I haven’t spoken to her in ages, because our schedules don’t match at all, being that she’s in China and studying hard. We spoke for a bit over half an hour and hopefully it won’t be two months until the next time again!

Last three text received?
”That was fast! See you in 8 months bb!@!!” – from the Captain
”Ok Babe, no problem” – from my manager
”oh no fuuuuu I think I’ve double booked myself” – from Eva

What did the last text you sent say?
“I am not sure if I feel like I can do Saturday though bc I have that party and I’m working the night before? Sorry”

What’s your favourite fruit?
Watermelon! I love it. I especially love watermelon juice – you don’t even have to chew it, it’s just instant heaven.

Which celebrities have you been compared to?
Marilyn Monroe, Madonna, Rita Ora, Courtney Love. Anyone who’s blonde and has short hair!

What are you scared of?
Death, that someone I love will die before I get a chance to see them one last time, the dark and anything you could potentially find in it.

Do you get jealous easily?
Not really. If I’m with someone and they’re giving me reason to be jealous, then… I’d rather just let them go. They can have whomever it is they’re flirting with, and I don’t have to deal with the headache.

Your favourite character from a TV show?
Um. I don’t watch a lot of TV nowadays, but I think maybe Margaery Tyrell from Game of Thrones. Mostly because I have a crush on Nathalie Dormer.

Who was the last person who wrote to you in the Facebook chat?
Eva! I’m counting it as texting though because the difference is minimal nowadays.

Which language would you like to learn?
Most recently, French. I did get an account on Duolingo and everything, but I haven’t been keeping up with it like I should.

Where would you like to travel right now?
Australia! I juuuuust got my visa, and after the weekend I’ll buy my tickets!

(List taken from Niotillfem and translated from Swedish)

Secrets

When I was younger, I had several rounds of therapy to straighten out my head (though not in a pray away the gay way; we don’t go for that where I’m from). One of my therapists said something that really stuck with me, even though at the time I thought he was wasting my time.

He told me a story that he’d read about a boy who broke a younger child’s toy, and then pretended that it wasn’t him. When he went to bed that night, and the following nights, he was terrified that a monster was going to eat him. He couldn’t figure out why he was suddenly scared of monsters, until his imaginary friend suggested it had something to do with the toy that he’d broken. He went to confess, everyone forgave him and all was right in the world!

The reason why he told me was that I was terrified something was going to eat me in the middle of the night, and he thought it might have something to do with me not being completely honest with people in my life. I thought it was the dumbest thing I’d ever heard in my life at the time, but over the years it has seemed many a time like there actually is something to it. I’m hiding something rather large at the moment from some people in my life, and sure enough, I am once again terrified. Not as bad now that I’ve decided that I will tell them, but it’s still marked enough that I’m inclined to believe I’ll feel a lot better once I’ve unburdened myself.

Honesty is the best policy, and a good night’s sleep is impossible when there’s a witch hiding in your bathroom. –Ancient proverb

christmas deluxe!

This year, because I come from the deep north where we celebrate on the 24th (we’re impatient), and the Captain is from the balmy south where they have the time to wait for the 25th, we’re celebrating Christmas twice! We started today, with Swedish Christmas, and I feel like we’re off to a pretty good start.

My day actually started very well, with a parcel from my father that I had no idea was coming – I was well surprised! And very happy, of course. Happy enough that I prematurely opened all the presents, and only realised one of them was for the Captain when my dad asked me if she liked it. Oops! In my defense, I really had no idea that he would send her anything and I had no reason to expect it.

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Disco Santa! The one thing I really wanted to do for Christmas here was go to the beach, since that’s one of those things you really can’t do in Sweden (or the UK, though I doubt I’d stay in London for Christmas unless I had an amazing reason). So I finally got my Christmas beach snap! I have been accused by several people of only wanting to go just to get a picture, which is so not true… but when I was there, what else would I do!?

On Christmas Day, the celebration continued with a wealth of Asian/Swedish Christmas food (somewhat eclectic mix of flavours), a walk in the botanical gardens, and a beautiful Christmas cake!

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It was delicious, and it felt so good to be filled from the inside with that much Christmas spirit. The end.

the time I nearly got arrested

A few days ago, I committed the heinous crime of putting my feet up on the seat on the train. I know you’re not supposed to, but it’s just way more comfortable! I would encourage them to put in footrests in convenient places, but maybe that’s just me.

I had the amazingly bad luck of being caught by a ticket officer, and because he was being a dick about it, I sent off a text to the Captain going “lol I think I’m getting arrested”. I think he thought I was trying to set someone up to confirm a fake address, because he demanded to look at it – and then he proceeded to tell me that I would probably actually get arrested as I didn’t have anything on me that proved my address!

I was terrified because 1. I have never been arrested as my juvenile delinquencies went undetected, and 2. I’m pretty keen on avoiding an arrest record in Australia in particular as they might try to throw me out or something if I look at them funny. Don’t laugh, I’ve seen Border Control.

I did manage to get a hold of my landlord to have him confirm my address, but the half hour before that was well scary! Now that I’ve started in on my path of criminal damage, who knows what I’ll do next? Better try not to do it out in the open, next time.

birthday shenanigans

Last weekend was my birthday weekend! My actual birthday is November 3 (same as Anna Wintour, for the record!), which fell on a Sunday this year, so all weekend was devoted to parties and other fun stuff!

On Saturday, we went to a lesbian halloween party dressed up as slutty Aladdin and slutty Jasmine! It was alright, but kind of small. I feel like it was a good way to start the birthday weekend, at any rate. I don’t think I have any pictures of just me in my costume, but that’s okay –  my favourite was the one I wore on Monday, anyway. We didn’t win the costume contest even though we were obviously the best dressed! But the girl who won brought all her friends to cheer for her, so… I’m not bitter, I swear.

On my actual birthday, I had decided that I wanted to go rock climbing! I’ve never done it before, and I am absolutely terrified of heights. It seemed like a good way to live up to my motto and keep challenging myself! We went to Hardrock in the city, and it was absolutely amazing. I was so terrified! I was shaking, hyperventilating, almost crying, but to my everlasting pride, I managed to climb all the way up to the ceiling! I asked them how high it was, after, and they said it was 18 metres! I’ve been telling everyone I know about it (and even people who I don’t know, who strike up a conversation with me) just because I’m so proud of myself. Conquering my fears, birthday style!

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To get our strength back, we went to Vegie Bar in Brunswick, and I don’t think I can fully express to you how amazing the food was. I had two types of daal with rice and roti, and I am basically drooling right now just thinking back to it. I wish I lived next door – I swear I’d be in there twice a day! For dessert I had an amazing dark chocolate cake which I couldn’t quite finish just because it was so rich, but I remember it fondly. And it was all vegan! I didn’t quite realise life could be this good, before.

To top it off, on Monday night we went to yet another lesbian halloween party, this time dressed as slutty Captain America and slutty Riddler. I was way more pleased with this costume! I found the party a bit better as well, so we went out with a bang.

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Here’s an instagram shot of my makeup!

And here’s my full costume! I was also wearing slutty American flag shorts – not sure you can tell in this photo, but they looked awesome. I definitely feel like my birthday was celebrated properly and in style!