Secrets

When I was younger, I had several rounds of therapy to straighten out my head (though not in a pray away the gay way; we don’t go for that where I’m from). One of my therapists said something that really stuck with me, even though at the time I thought he was wasting my time.

He told me a story that he’d read about a boy who broke a younger child’s toy, and then pretended that it wasn’t him. When he went to bed that night, and the following nights, he was terrified that a monster was going to eat him. He couldn’t figure out why he was suddenly scared of monsters, until his imaginary friend suggested it had something to do with the toy that he’d broken. He went to confess, everyone forgave him and all was right in the world!

The reason why he told me was that I was terrified something was going to eat me in the middle of the night, and he thought it might have something to do with me not being completely honest with people in my life. I thought it was the dumbest thing I’d ever heard in my life at the time, but over the years it has seemed many a time like there actually is something to it. I’m hiding something rather large at the moment from some people in my life, and sure enough, I am once again terrified. Not as bad now that I’ve decided that I will tell them, but it’s still marked enough that I’m inclined to believe I’ll feel a lot better once I’ve unburdened myself.

Honesty is the best policy, and a good night’s sleep is impossible when there’s a witch hiding in your bathroom. –Ancient proverb